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Cheryl Balcom

Comfort and Joy: How God Used the Loss of a Loved One to Save the Life of Another


a dying dandelion whose fluff is flying into the air
Image by Ýlona María Rybka

Blessed Are Those Who Mourn, For They Shall Be Comforted


In July, after a lovely vacation in the very tip of northern Michigan, our friends Bill and Norma got into their car to begin their long journey home. After about half an hour, Bill complained that his left arm was bothering him; he was feeling some chest pain. They found a local ER and were told he was having a heart attack. He was immediately transported to a hospital two hours further away. When Norma entered the hospital after following the ambulance, she heard “code blue" over the loudspeaker and knew it was her husband. His heart had arrested over ten times as a result of a 100 percent blockage of the left anterior descending artery to the heart—what's called "the widowmaker."


Using an incredible hospital staff who wouldn't give up on Bill, God miraculously intervened and gradually restored his heart to normal functioning. But he was still very ill, and though his heart seemed to be working well, his lungs began to deteriorate.


Over the next weeks, in a hospital far from home, he was able to spend time with his wife, his two sons, and other family and friends. In meaningful conversations, he made it clear that he wanted to live but he did not want his life to be prolonged artificially. As his lungs continued to weaken, the doctor had a very honest conversation with him before intubating him once again to help him breathe.


“You have about a 50/50 chance of surviving this, my friend.”


As his wife of 47 years listened with tears streaming down her cheeks, she heard her husband reply between gasps, “Let’s give it the ‘ol college try.”


And then, “Either way, I win.”


In the months leading up to this event, our son, Levi, graduated college, moved into his own place, and found a decent job. He is disciplined, a hard worker, a fun kid, and enjoys life. But as Christian parents, there is nothing that keeps us up at night—and down on our knees—like watching a child launch into the world without knowing Jesus.


I wrestled with worry for him, with fear of the future for my unsaved son. I grieved over the mistakes I had made while he was growing up.


Then we noticed he seemed to be doing some soul-searching. A reluctant reader as a kid, he began to read voraciously: books on philosophy, health and wellness, books by Jordan Peterson, and the Stoics.  Sunday afternoons we walked our country roads and talked while his laundry tumbled dry at our house. He was asking great questions, and I encouraged him to read the gospel of John. He started there, and his curiosity was piqued; he continued to Revelation and the Epistles. He was seeking.


In All Things, God Works


When we learned that Bill had been welcomed into the arms of his savior, receiving the victory he had been so sure of, we mourned and we rejoiced—the bittersweet grieving of those who truly love yet truly have hope.


We grieved for his sweet wife, Norma. We shared her question, “Why would God miraculously revive his heart yet allow his lungs to fail?” Our hearts ached for his two sons, two daughters-in-law (one of whom is my sister), and seven grandsons. The loss of this dear man will leave a giant-teddy-bear-sized hole in our extended family.


Grief is painful, angry, messy, and real. But God does not abandon us in the midst of it.


In fact, from soil soaked by tears, He can cultivate healing, goodness, and beauty—even if our broken hearts can’t see it right away.

 

a dandelion shedding its seeds; Quote: Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. Psalm 126:5-6

 

Singing Songs of Joy


Because Jim and I were out of town at the time, we were unable to attend Bill’s memorial service. But our kids attended. They wouldn’t have missed it—that’s how beloved Bill was.


Levi told me afterward about the beautiful service, the jazzy version of Amazing Grace performed by two of the grandsons, and how the choir sounded like angels. And when the pastor shared the story of our friend’s comment, “Either way, I win,” Levi’s heart was deeply moved.


“I want that kind of peace,” he thought.


It was a turning point in his faith journey, a moment that will forever be part of his salvation story.

  

I Will Give You a New Heart


In a way, Bill’s death from a heart attack influenced the spiritual heart transplant of our son. Many factors played into Levi’s salvation: the drawing power of the Holy Spirit; God’s gracious response to many people praying for him (not just his parents); his reading of Scripture, asking questions, and searching after the things of the Lord. It all culminated in the story of Bill’s complete and total assurance in the face of death, and Levi’s heart of stone was replaced with a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26).


Just like the death of Jesus Christ over 2000 years ago provided a new heart—a soft, purified, living heart—for all who would believe.


Comfort For the One Who Grieves


In Scripture, we won’t find promises of a pain-free life. We are told to expect sorrow, trouble, and loss. The promises we will find in Scripture, however, are sweet assurances that

Joy For the One Who Waits


Though the Bible doesn’t tell us specifically who will or won’t be saved, we serve a God who is both sovereign and trustworthy. If your knees are sore from praying and waiting for a lost one to be found, remember:

On a sunny October Sunday, we celebrated with tears of joy as our son was baptized in his new church. I was moved as I realized that his salvation journey was larger even than a mother's prayer—God’s ways are so much higher than ours. God never leaves our side no matter the road we walk, and He truly works in all things to bring us assurance, comfort, and joy.


a basket of dandelions on the grass and Psalm 73:25-26 quoted: Whom have I in heaven but you? and earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

 

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10 comentarios


carolacey77@aol.com
15 nov

What an inspiring story, Cheryl. I am awaiting the encounter with God for several of my grandchildren and greats, so I cherish God's victory and believe I am in the same line.


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Contestando a

Amen—He is able! Praying with you. ❤️

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Thank you for sharing this Cheryl! I'm rejoicing with you with tears of gladness and thanksgiving for Levi. This gives me hope.

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Contestando a

Praise the Lord! Much love and hugs to you and your family, Kelly. ❤️

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Dave Bierenga
11 nov

I really liked Bill's comment: "Either way I win." I'll remember that one!

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Contestando a

Isn't that so powerful, Dave? An eternal perspective. ❤️

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Sylvia Schroeder
11 nov

So very sad and so very joyful. Thank you for sharing. I rejoice with you over the salvation of your son!

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Contestando a

Thank you Sylvia. We praise God for His faithfulness. ❤️

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Gerald
11 nov

It’s funny how death can usher in resurrection in another life!

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Contestando a

God uses what doesn't make sense to us to accomplish His will. I'm so thankful He does it all in love. ❤️ Death has no victory over those who believe!

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