Grace, Growth, and the Gift of Intergenerational Relationships

Guest Post by Hannah Grace Staton

Every one of us, no matter our age, needs grace—from God, from others, and from ourselves. 

But even when we know our need for grace, that doesn’t mean we know how to receive it or how to give it.

I believe that’s one of the reasons why God calls us to be part of intergenerational relationships.

Image by National Library of Medicine on Unsplash

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

— Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)

As a young woman who has relationships with several older believers, I know from experience that while these relationships bring unique challenges, they also offer special blessings you won’t find in friendships with peers. One of those blessings is that they give both the older and younger ones involved a glimpse of God’s grace that they wouldn’t find in their own lives.

I can think of three lessons about grace and growth that I’ve learned from intergenerational relationships.

1. We Never Outgrow Our Need of Grace

We’re never too old to need grace. No matter how many years we’ve lived or how far along we are in our faith, we need God’s grace to catch us when we fall. We need others’ grace to lift us up. And we need to give ourselves grace to try again. 

When you’re young, it can be tempting to think that things will get easier once you get older, that someday you’ll mature into someone who doesn’t fail as often and doesn’t need as much grace. It’s true that as you mature in faith, you will grow in virtue and become more Christlike. But when I look at people who have walked in faith much longer than I have, it doesn’t take long to realize that they still struggle. Their struggles aren’t lesser just because they’ve known the Lord longer. If anything, they’re more aware of their deep need for God’s grace and how they fail every single day.

And you know what? I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It could sound discouraging, but I believe it isn’t. I love the way Lara Casey explains it: “Imperfection is a gift because it opens a door for us to see [God’s] ever-present grace. Right where we are, in every season, His grace abounds. Eternal impact comes from a heart cultivated with His essential grace—a heart set on eternity. We know where we’re going—and it’s good.”1 

2. God’s Grace Grows with Us

“Everything begins and ends with grace. Let that one sink in for a moment. We are saved into relationship with Christ because of grace. We continue living in the fullness of His love because of grace. When our time on earth is done, grace will lead us all the way home.” 

— Jocelyn Green  

The good news is, the more we grow in our awareness of our dependence on God’s grace, the more we come to know just how boundless His grace is. In a sense, His grace grows with us. 

This is why it’s such a gift to catch glimpses of God’s grace at work in the lives of those who are at different points in their journey—whether they are ahead of us or behind us—because while His grace is changeless, how He gives it will look different depending on what season of life we are in. His grace in the life of a young mother of a newborn will look different from His grace in the life of a middle-aged wife whose youngest child has left the house, and it will look still different from His grace in the life of an older widow who is the great-grandmother of a mighty throng. 

We are all portraits of His grace, each one as unique as the life He has called us to live. To see the fuller picture, we must observe the lives of those at different places in life. Our understanding of what grace is and how it works will grow as we mature in faith and as we watch others grow in faith and grace.

3. We Must Choose to Grow in Grace

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

— 2 Peter 3:18a (ESV)

Growing in grace isn’t something that happens automatically; we must be open to the Holy Spirit’s work in our hearts. 

Watching others who have been believers for many years shows this. For me, observing older believers (and older women in particular) has been deeply instructive as I think about the kind of woman I want to be. Some women’s hearts have hardened to the point where they hardly know how to give grace. Others’ hearts are soft and tender, and grace flows from them in a steady stream. 

Both kinds of women have walked with the Lord for years, so it’s not a lack of knowledge that makes the difference. 

What does, then?

I believe it’s their grasp of grace. Susie Larson says it well: “God’s work through us is directly proportionate to His work within us. And He’ll only work in us to the extent that we give Him access to our soul and permission to change us. Either we humble ourselves, admit our daily need for more of His life and influence within us (and we’re beautifully changed in the process), or we continue to show up at church, look the part, and miss out on the absolute miracle of life transformation.”2  Without grace, our hearts get set in our stubborn ways, but with grace, our hearts are molded into beautiful works of art. 

That is why there are few things more beautiful than a gracious woman and few things uglier than a graceless one. The best way to gain a beauty that never ages or goes out of style is to lean into grace. 

Image by Kaspars Eglitis on Unsplash

The Grace of Relationships

Relationships are a gift of grace. A good friend of mine once told me, “To be patient is a choice we make with every friendship we form.” That is so true. As we grow in grace, relationships are one of God’s gifts to help us along the way.

May we all, both younger and older, be living portraits of the glory of His grace. 

“And now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you an inheritance among all who are sanctified.”

— Acts 20:32 (CSB)

1. Lara Casey, Cultivate (Nashville: W Publishing, 2017), 219.

2. Susie Larson, Your Beautiful Purpose (Bloomington, Minnesota: Bethany House Publishers, 2013), 146.

   
   
   
   

Before and after everything else, Hannah Grace Staton is a beloved daughter of the King. She is a homeschool graduate, student in the Young Writer’s Workshop, and managing editor at Skillful Pen Press. Her desire is that her words would encourage, challenge, and inspire others. Her work has been featured in such publications as Calla Press and Kosmeo Magazine. You can read more from Hannah Grace on her blog, The Grace Space.